SECRET SERVICE AGENT: I'm confused. How can there be two Presidents?

THE PRESIDENT: There aren't two Presidents. There's only one Preisdent. This man is an impostor.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: (to the impostor) Is that true, Mr. President?


SECRET SERVICE AGENT: (to the real President) The President says you're lying, Mr. President.

THE PRESIDENT: He's not the real President, you moron. Look at him. He's wearing a wig.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: I'm sorry, Mr. President. They didn't train us for this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

IMPOSTOR: Why not ask us a question that only the real President would know?

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: That's an excellent idea, Mr. President. (thinks for a moment) Okay... What city is the White House in?

IMPOSTOR: Washington.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: (whips out his gun and points it at the real President) Sir, you're under arrest.

THE PRESIDENT: What? No! That was too easy. Everyone knows that. Ask us another one.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: (still aiming at the President) Okay... Okay. I've got one. If you're the real President, then tell me what my daughter's middle name is.


SECRET SERVICE AGENT: (gripping the gun tighter) My daughter's middle name, Mr. President. What is it?

THE PRESIDENT: How would I know that? How is that a thing that only I would know?

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: (trembling) I won't ask you again, sir.

IMPOSTOR: You'd better answer him, whoever you are. He looks serious.

THE PRESIDENT: Uh... uhm... (scratches his head) ...Susan?

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: (cocks his gun)

Brendan Patrick Hennessy, 22 August 2008