INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT THE PRIME MINISTERS OF CANADA

Sir John A. MacDonald (1867–1873, 1878–1891) won Canada's independence in a poker game with Queen Victoria. Later in the same poker game, he lost the country's independence to the king of Sweden.

Alexander Mackenzie (1873–1878) never learned how to shave.

Sir John Abbott (1891–1892) spent the bulk of his term wasting away in a Chinese opium den, praying for the release of death. He is widely remembered as Canada's greatest Prime Minister.

Sir John Thompson (1892–1894) was one of only twenty Prime Ministers not to have been a doctor before being elected.

Sir Mackenzie Bowell (1894–1896) felt that the Canadian people were like the children he'd never had. Before he died, he wrote the Canadian people out of his will, considering all eight million of them to be disappointments.

Sir Charles Tupper (1896) was a woman.

Sir Wilfrid Laurier (1896–1911) bankrupted the federal government by spending the treasury on wigs. It is for this reason that his reign is known as the most attractive and virile in Canadian history.

Sir Robert Borden (1911–1920) defeated Laurier's "Wig Party" by riding on a hardline Pro-Moustache platform.

Arthur Meighen (1920–1921, 1926) could lift a train over his head.

William Lyon Mackenzie King (1921–1926, 1926–1930, 1935–1948) got his last name when he crowned himself King of Canada in 1927. No one came to the coronation.

Richard Bedford Bennett (1930–1935) drank blood and had an irrational fear of the sun, but he was not a vampire. He just thought he was a vampire.

Louis St. Laurent (1948–1957) said on his deathbed: "Bury me with my wife." Mrs. St. Laurent was sealed in her husband's mausoleum, and presumably died shortly thereafter.

John Diefenbaker (1957–1963) was a low-level civil servant who became Prime Minister by means of a clerical error. He is famous for the 1958 Throne Speech "Huh? What? What's going on?"

Lester B. Pearson (1963–1968) was named after an airport. Later in life, he changed his name from Calgary International Airport to Lester B. Pearson.

Pierre Trudeau (1968–1979) became Prime Minister by killing Lester B. Pearson.

Jimmy Carter (1977–1981) was the only Prime Minister of Canada not to be a Prime Minister of Canada.

Joe Clark (1979–1980) had seventy dogs, each one named after a famous actress. His term came to an abrupt end when Diane Keaton mauled him in order to get at a bit of beef jerky in his breast pocket. Ironically, Diane Keaton the dog was well-behaved and didn't have a taste for jerky.

Pierre Trudeau (1980–1984) caused just as much trouble the second time around.

John Turner (1984) successfully campaigned for Prime Minister by walking from Vancouver to St. John's. A second abortive attempt to walk from Whitehorse to Iqaluit resulted in the premature end of his term in office.

Brian Mulroney (1984–1993) was the first and only Prime Minister to win the office by lottery. (The position was later won by Jack Layton, but he opted to go with the cash equivalent instead.)

Kim Campbell (1993) doesn't speak English.

Jean Chrιtien (1993–2003) delivered a record-breaking seventeen babies while in office. Most survived.

Paul Martin (2003–2006) retired from politics to become a spokesman for Pledge. To date, he has made no sales.

Stephen Harper (2006–Present) is the first Prime Minister in history with no interesting facts about him.


—Brendan Patrick Hennessy, 7 November 2007