In my restaurant, soup is the only thing on the menu and the only thing on the menu is soup. What kinds of soup do I serve?

The soup d’amour is a powerful, intoxicating soup. If two people drink it, they will fall in love. If two people who are already in love drink it, they will die.

The soup pour deux is the same as the soup pour un but with an extra spoon.

The soup a l’orange is just regular chicken noodle soup but with a whole orange in it. (That way when you’re done the soup you get a free orange.)

The soup d’homme is a strange but delicious tasting meat soup. The aroma is so intoxicating, so new, and yet... so familiar. The taste is subtle, rich, slightly gamey. Almost like chimpanzee meat, but slightly different. And it raises so many questions. Why have I never tasted anything like this before? What happened to that nice maitre d’ who greeted us at the door? And what is the secret ingredient? (Answer: It’s goat.)

Brendan Patrick Hennessy, 11 February 2009