A beefy male nothing with shaved head and dirty face arrives at Dubai, which we are pleased to learn has been obliterated by a vengeful sand god. The male is walking towards a plot device named Konrad, who disappeared and then turned bad. Every five minutes he stops to duck behind a low wall as thirty humans pour in. We select a human with our cursor and press a button to make their head explode. We are assisted by two clones who explode heads of their own accord. Sometimes the male falls off a building.

We recognize almost immediately that the male is committing senseless acts of evil. We recognize this because we are not idiots. The male is too busy yelling to recognize anything. White phosphorous obtained from nowhere is deployed for no reason because the game decides it's time for the white phosphorous sequence. Supposed tangos are revealed to be civilians. Supposed Konrads are revealed to be nothings. Clone B wears a baseball cap.

Every few hours the sandstorm lifts to reveal a smirking developer, who asks us if we enjoy all of this killing. He disappears again before we have a chance to answer "meh."

Brendan Patrick Hennessy, 8 January 2013